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Traces of "anti-English bias" found in Scottish newspaper
A Scottish newspaper was accused yesterday of containing traces of anti-English bias. Jimmy Krankie was unavailable for comment.
BSE was "prank that went wrong" admits Major
Former Prime Minister John Major has admitted that the BSE crisis arose as the result of a practical joke that went horribly wrong. John Prescott was unavailable for comment.
SCS announce "sale" shocker
Furniture giants SCS have sent shockwaves throughout the world of shoddy homewares by announcing a "bigger than ever" sale. Tom from the DFS advert was unavailable for comment.
Manics to record Rod Hull tribute
Popular Welsh beat combo, the Manic Street Preachers have announced their intention to record a cover of Rod Hull’s classic "There’s Somebody at the Door", from his BAFTA award winning TV show "The Pink Windmill". Professor Stephen Hawking was available for comment, but it didn’t make any sense.
Ronan Keating to cut down TV appearances
Boyzone nightmare Ronan Keating has announced that he plans to reduce his TV appearances as a mark of respect to everyone who has complained about the publicity seeking twat being there every time they switch the telly on. Ronan was available for comment, but we’re all sick of the sight of the walrus-voiced
shitbag.
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