| Chris
Evans buys Victor Kiam!
Madcap TV and radio funnyman Chris Evans yesterday rocked the business world when he paid $4.8m (£1,500) for the Remington tycoon Victor
Kiam.
Evans, 42, said "I always loved those commercials Victor used to do - and now he has to do them for me whenever I ask." It is believed that Kiam is to be kept locked up in a sealed room and brought out on special occasions to perform for Evans and his pissed up mates, Danny Baker (47) and Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne (12), when they come back from the pub
ratarsed.
The self-aggrandising ginger shitehawk later added, "I've got more money than you lot. I've probably got more than all of you put together." A spokesman for Evans' production company said Kiam's first public appearance since the sale would be on Friday's edition of Evans' hit TV show "Laugh - Or You're Fired!" The spokesman also confirmed that Kiam's contribution would follow the usual format in which guests play along with some weak gag devised by Danny Baker five minutes before the start of the show, and then sit there looking bored as Evans milks it for some 45 minutes.
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