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Earn
££££££££££££s !!
Your
body parts could be your fortune!
Are you having trouble making ends meet? Can't seem to get by at the end of the month?
Of course you can't. It's one thing after another - the rent's due, your kids need new school uniforms, the repayments on all those unnecessary electrical items you couldn't afford but got anyway from Crazy George's seem to be working out a lot more expensive than you first suspected. Well don't worry - we have the answer.
Here at Infarction Medical Services, we're dedicated to working for the benefit of our patients and shareholders. Good health means good business, and without the co-operation of some of the less fortunate members of society, we'd all be up shit creek.
Which is why, right now, we're offering our best prices ever for all those unwanted internal organs you may have cluttering up your thoracic cavity and digestive system.
Check out these
tempting offers:
| Blood
(per pint) |
£2.99 |
Bone
Marrow |
£8.75/oz |
| Upper
Intestine |
£12/ft |
Fingers |
£6
or £40/hand |
| Lower
Intestine |
£14/ft |
Lung
Wall |
99p/cm² |
| Kidney |
£45(£100
the pair) |
Pancreas |
£59.99 |
| Liver
(IGC) |
£75 |
Arteries
(various) |
£5-£35 |
| Liver
(offcuts) |
£negotiable |
Heart
Valves |
£25
each |
| Full
Heart |
£125!!!! |
Brain
Cells |
3p/oz
(6oz max) |
Our excavators have been trained to ensure that your operation goes without a hitch (£25 buys the presence of a qualified anaesthetist and doctor during your surgery) and we guarantee you'll be in and out in under 25 minutes or we double your fee!
So come to Infarction Medical Services and you never need worry about money again!
"We never remove anything which isn't absolutely essential to you."
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