| We are proud to present the latest installment of the new book by ex-SAS
hardman turned burger vendor, Andy McNobb... Burger Two Zero - Episode 4
Thursday, 1400 hours. Quiet? Don't you
believe it. The lunchtime battalion may have been sent scuttling, but you can never relax.
Sit back, enjoy the view, go ahead, but in this game they can pounce at any time, and if
you've got no clean plates when the Intifada from the secondary modern over the road swarm
all over you, then that's your luck out chummy. Let go and you're done for.
Tables wiped, salt refilled, chairs
straightened - all done but who's this? Male, mid 40s - but don't let that fool you,
Hodges was lethal until the day he died at the age of 56. Hit by a bus. Came out of
nowhere. They're all gone now, only me left from the old gang. His hand's in his pocket -
I'm poised by the pepper grinder, who's got the upper hand here? He's covered, but he's
not carrying - it's his ID papers, bound to be forged - the Mole's using the newsagent on
Parkin Street as his cover. He says he's a health inspector!
Yeah, yeah, and I'm Osama bin Laden. But
I go along with it for now. Get him in the kitchen, nice and quiet, he's a sitting duck.
He's looking around, but I'm quicker - you use whatever comes to hand and if you fail, you
die. But I don't fail - that deep fat fryer weighs fully fifty pounds, but as I point to
the cold store with one hand, I lift it with the other and BANG! End of inspection - the
shirts from the council will have to do better than that, there's more to reconnaisance
than a fake ID from the Department of Health and Safety.
Now if I can just get him into the
freezer..... two birds, one stone and all that.
NEXT WEEK: Yes - we have no tomatoes,
Fritz!
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